Compassion and
Power of Empathy

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Dalai Lama

Pity is feeling sorry for someone; empathy is
feeling sorry with someone. Martin Luther King Jr.

Prashant, 7 years old boy, had Retinoblastoma in both eyes. On the day of surgery of excision of both eyes at Tata Memorial Hospital, the boy and his father vanished from the ward. Cancer surgeon and his team were very much annoyed. When the father turned up in the evening, he requested that they should do the surgery the next day. The cancer surgeon rebuked him thoroughly (as all of us would do it!) and asked him, "Where the hell had you gone with the child?" He calmly replied, "My son had never seen Juhu Beach, Marine Drive, Gateway of India as we have come to Mumbai for the first time. I just wanted him to see these and have good memories before both of his eyes were taken out". These sentences moved the compassion in cancer surgeon and changed his outlook.

Dr. Shailesh Putambekar, the cancer surgeon, wrote this change in his attitude because of the patient in one of the magazines. Later, a movie named Shwas was made on this theme. Shwas won the Golden Peacock Award 2003—national award for the best film. It was later sent for Oscar nomination against Lagaan. It is the experience of touching the pain of others that is the key to change…. Compassion is a sign of transformation.

How many of us have been taught by the patients? How many of us practice empathy today? How many of us can say 'sorry' to our patients even if we are wrong?

Compassion in an emotion we are all born with. Compassion literally means 'suffering with another'. During our childhood days, we practiced this virtue in a passive natural way. During childhood we don't think twice before helping our friends, family members and even strangers. Hamid bought a pair of chimta for his grandmother out of his pocket money. But when we grow up, why do we get into the debate of gain and loss even for performing little acts of kindness? As grown ups, we become so materialistic that we put ourselves first before even small acts of compassion. Little do we realize that even these small acts of compassion can create a big impact. It is good to be ambitious, provided it is fueled by compassion, wisdom and integrity.

Sympathy sees and says, "I am sorry", Compassion sees and says, "I will help". Once a man walking at the beach observed that with the morning tide came hundreds of star fish and when the tide receded, they were left behind to eventually die. But at that hour the tide was fresh and star fish alive. The man was thoughtful for sometime and started picking up the starfish one by one and threw back into water. He did that repeatedly. Right behind him, there was another person who couldn't understand what this man was doing. He asked him, "How many starfish can you help? There are hundreds of starfish, what difference does it make?" In reply the other person picked up another starfish and threw it into water and said, "It makes difference to this one". It does not matter whether acts of compassion are big or small they are bound to make a difference. Ultimately this difference only matters. Mother Teresa, an apostle of extreme compassion, always used to say, "Even a destitute deserves a decent burial or cremation". One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention. "I do not ask the wounded person how he feels; I myself become the wounded person" Walt Whitman.

Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight or this new year; always try to be a little kinder than is necessary?
 

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