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The
Grief Reaction
Moments of Reason
"We are all broken and wounded in
this world. Some choose to grow strong at the broken places."
Harold J. Duarte-Bernhardt |
THE NICHOLAS EFFECT
It made headlines, and broke hearts worldwide. Highway robbers
shot Nicholas Green, a freckle-faced, 7 year-old from California,
USA holidaying in Italy with his parents. He died two days
later. The story might have ended with that tragedy, but his
parents Reg and Maggie Green made a very different decision,
and one that had a dramatic impact. They donated their son’s
organs to seven Italians—among them a mother who had
never seen her baby’s face; a diabetic who had been
repeatedly in comas; and a boy of 15, wasting away with a
heart disease. Today all seven are alive, healthy and leading
full lives. The Greens’ act of compassion in the midst
of devastating circumstances led to an unexpected outpouring
of love and support from around the world, a deluge of media
attention, both overseas and in the United States., and something
now called “The Nicholas Effect” Reg Green, Nicholas’
father and author of “The Nicholas Effect: A Young Boy’s
Gift to the World.” added, “When we looked at
Nicholas, he didn’t look like a sleeping child. We knew
he was dead and therefore, didn’t need that body anymore.
His teacher always said he was the most giving boy she had
ever met. His future had been taken away from him. It seemed
even more important than ever that that future should be given
to someone else.”
—Thanks to
The Nicholas (effect), organ donations in Italy alone have
nearly tripled. 16 minutes video from Nicholas Green Foundation
is appreciated in all the Organ Transplant Centers all over
the world and is changing the lives of thousands…”.
Believing that it
is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate
manner, two questions come to the mind. What allows some people
to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even
the most trying circumstances? And conversely, what happens
to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us
to behave violently and exploitatively?
| "It takes years and years to make
the lines, but it takes a few moments to make the headlines" |
With the intense
concentration of a master craftsman, Zidane achieved everything
football offered, before throwing away a large chunk of it
because of an inability to live down a momentary lapse of
reason. A surgeon’s father in-law was 85 years old,
terminally ill from cancer and was on death bed. Losing the
moment of reason, suddenly his wife (herself a doctor) blasted
him in front of other doctors and patients in I.C.U., “I
will also do the same, when you will die…”. Can
the grief reaction be tamed with education?
It is not always
possible to stick to predecided set-pieces and strategies.
Among the factors that affect our ability to stay compassionate
are:
1. Crucial role of
language and
2. Our use of words.
Marshall Rosenberg
calls this language of compassion as “Non-violent communication.”
This communication skill strengthens our ability to remain
human even under trying conditions.
R.S.Bhatia Dr. Parveen Bhatia
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